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A break up can leave you feeling miserable and alone. Especially if you still really love your boyfriend and think you should still be together. Over and over, your mind replays the painful moment and you can’t help thinking, “My boyfriend broke up with me, how can I get him back?”
You need a plan for getting back together. One that is so simple that it will help you get past those panicked feelings of maybe having lost him forever. You need a plan that puts you in the limelight, not the shadows of your bedroom crying your eyes out and sending sad text messages to your ex.
This plan requires that you do some things that at first might sound like the complete opposite of what you think you should be doing, but if you are seriously sitting there saying my boyfriend broke up with me, how can I get him back, then whatever you have been doing so far isn’t working.
I know this plan works because I have tried it myself – although purely by accident – and my boyfriend and I did get back together. I was in college and my boyfriend and I had been going out for several years when he suddenly broke up with me. I was devastated. I thought we’d be together forever. I was so miserable, that I cried myself to sleep every night, hugging a shirt that he had left at my apartment just so I could still catch the scent of his cologne.
I tried talking to him, sending him notes, stopping by his house – anything I could think of to encourage him to get back together with me. Nothing worked. It wasn’t until I completely gave up and had to start back to my classes after a winter break that something finally went in my favor. We had one class together and the only way I could get through that class was to pretend he wasn’t there. I stopped looking at him during class, stopped trying to reach him and stopped talking to him. I did nothing more than give a polite smile (although it hurt to even see him) and go on with my life. You know what? The less attention I paid to him, the more he seemed to pay to me.
I finally confronted him after class one day and explained that it was nice that he wanted to be friends but that I’d prefer it if we had less contact. I said that I was okay moving on (I wasn’t) and his response shocked me. He begged me to get back together with him.
It was several months after we were back together that he explained that he hadn’t fully realized what it was going to be like to be broken up until I stopped paying attention to him. That really threw him for a loop and he couldn’t stop thinking about me and what a mistake he had made.
There’s a lesson in that example, and many more such examples. If you are struggling through thoughts that scream in your head “My boyfriend broke up with me! How do I get him back?” just realize that you have probably not yet given him a chance to really see what life will be like without you. Follow this plan to start building your second chance.
Details of the Plan for Getting Back Together:
- Stop trying so hard to make your boyfriend see that you want to get back together with him.
- Stop all attempts to reach your ex boyfriend. Let him really feel your absence.
- Get back to doing the activities you were normally doing before the break up so your ex at least thinks that you have moved on.
- Be polite and friendly, not mushy and weak.
- Stop flirting with your ex (but don’t hold back on flirting with other guys).
- After a few weeks of not speaking with your ex, arrange to run into him in such a way that he sees you are having fun and enjoying yourself again.
This plan requires a lot of self-restraint. Believe me, I know how hard it will be to not want to run into your ex boyfriend’s arms when you see him or to stop from calling your ex every day but he can’t really get in touch with how much he misses you if you haven’t left him alone since you broke up.
write by Kane