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Jon came into my office like he had the word “rejected” stamped all over him. He was dressed casually with jeans, a plaid shirt and loafers. His hair was tussled and brown, eyes green, skin pale. We beat around the bush for a few moments talking of the local high school football team and how badly they were doing this season, again.
I finally asked him what was up. He fell silent for an extended period, took in a deep breath and began to explain how he felt that he couldn’t keep up. That nothing he tried ever earned him a good feeling about himself. He actually used the word “earned.” He had come to see me because I was the one who talked about heaven all the time.
Are you always trying to earn your way to something? Earn your place in heaven, for example? There is no need for performing in a certain way to feel accepted. You are accepted with no modifications needed.
Actually I seldom talked about heaven as I am much more concerned with how and why people live their lives here and now. But Jon saw me as the person he needed to consult about his heaven-problem.
What he was really feeling was non-acceptance. No matter what he tried, or did, he could not get to the place where he felt accepted. This caused all manner of problems in his life because his attitude reflected onto everything.
I showed Jon that he was accepted just as he was. He did not need to earn anything. Yes, he had been taught, like so many of the rest of us, that he must do such and such to get into heaven. That God was some sort of cosmic judge about to bang down his gavel of doom. I told Jon he needed to believe differently than he had been taught. That is was not going to be easy because dogmas are difficult to get unstuck from the mind and life. He needed to remember as he sought to change his beliefs that God doesn’t need anything from us. God is All In All. If God doesn’t need anything from us, then we have nothing in particular to do. If we have nothing in particular to do, then there is no judgment if we do not get it done. When there is no judgment there is only acceptance. You are accepted just as you are with no modifications needed.
Jon said he was not sure he got what I was saying. I asked him if it sounded very foreign to him. He answered that he had never heard it before. And though I was saying the words, his mind was not grasping that he did not have to earn anything. That he was accepted without any needed modifications. So we set up a three week schedule where he would appear at my office for those consecutive weeks.
This was hard work for Jon as he had never met the idea that there was something he did not have to earn. And beyond the earning, he would not have to modify himself in ways he did not comprehend. Over the next three sessions, Jon learned how it was to be accepted without attaining certain status. Jon slowly, as would be expected, came to change his beliefs. He no longer wore “rejected” stamped all over him and his life has improved noticeably.
You are accepted with no modifications necessary.
write by lopez